Being Father and Fatherhood

Being Father and Fatherhood

On September 21^st 2015, we welcomed our son into the world (yes, this post is a little bit late :) ..

"Fatherhood” is often considered as a ‘phenomenon’, something which transcends a Men’s very being to another level.  In this column I want to share with you how fatherhood has changed my life. Although this is very personal, I believe there are many lessons that anyone can take away.:

A sense of awe. It was when I saw my son "Ansh" for the first time that I truly understood what a miracle life is. To hold this little human being, with his little fingers and tiny feet, left me in awe of just how truly amazing life is. And this sense of awe has changed how I view my everyday surroundings, in particular nature.

Awareness of my own mortality. I remember driving home from the hospital, on my own, a few hours after he was born. I had so many emotions rushing around inside of me, but one of the most intense was a sense of my own mortality. I had never felt so alive, but by the same token I had never felt so vulnerable. I drove home particularly careful that night, knowing that my life now had a new meaning.

Meaning. I don’t think having a kid is a prerequisite for living a meaningful life, nor do I want fatherhood to be the only thing that beings meaning to my existence. But what fatherhood has done is to help me understand what a wonderful feeling it is to live with meaning.

Connected to the world. I have always considered myself to be a bit different, and this has at times left me feeling unconnected to the world around me. But he has connected me to the future, and for this reason I now care more than I ever have about the fate of the humankind and the world we live in. Whether the issue is the environment or politics, I realize that what we do on this planet today will affect the future for our sons and daughters, and then their sons and daughters one day.

A Couple of Photos:

As my Son grew and developed during the first years of his life, my heart expanded and filled with love like I've never known before. His smile is enough to brighten a miserable day and hearing him say ‘pa-pa' made everything right in the world. His unconditional love and trust made me strive to be a better man..

A Letter to my wife.. The Dream of my Life..!!

A letter to my love, my friend, my wife and my partner – Nitu…

 

I know it's the day before our 1^st Anniversary - some things can't wait just for a day.

12 Months - that's how long we've been with one another. 12 months feels like a lifetime - so much has changed - our lives altered in subtle - and not so subtle ways by the gentle currents of each other. In the time I've known you, we have both changed for the better - we compliment and act as one another's confidant, friend, partner and lovers.

We've also been through our times of trial - little things like misunderstanding at home - and much bigger things from your health, to finances, to not knowing what we were doing or where we were going?? We both know that this past year has been probably the one most challenging one filled with trials and tribulations.

Despite the trials - we have made each other stronger. You have changed who I am in such fundamental and subtle ways, that I attribute much of who I am now, to you. You have made me happier, stronger, and more empathetic. You have also given me the cherished gift of your love, your tears and support in all these days.

You have given me more than just your love, you gave me our first son ‘’Ansh’’ - who might as well be a tiny clone of myself, who despite my willfulness and strong personality makes my heart jump each time I hear his laugh, each time I hug him.

“Ansh’’ is almost 2 month old! All parents gush about how smart their children are - but we both know there's something special and unique about him. I cannot verbalize or put to words my thanks to you for him. He's a gift you've given to me.

Times change - people change. We have times when we just don't know what will come, and times when we wish what had come had not. We have persevered over the hard times we've faced until now, and those hard times we face now, we face together, as one.. I must admit that I could not be able to give you enough time in all these days.. but it is only due to my job and work.. Hope you will understand..

You, and your gift - our son, have given me more than a reason to just keep working, just to keep moving from day to day. You've given me a reason to truly live, to truly push myself beyond anything I could have imagined years ago. You've given me a place and arms to cry in, to laugh in, and to grow in. You've given me a view of life, of living, of loving I never dreamed of having.

I am also sorry that I cannot always give to you all the things you so richly deserve - I'd give you anything, I'd buy you anything if I could. I am sorry I don't have anything I can give you today other than my words..!

So, my gift to you is this - my expression of how much I truly value you, cherish you and how grateful I am - in spite of all the hard times - the good times, the memories, our Son and most importantly our love.

Thank you for being who you are.

Thank you for being with me.

Thank you for loving me.

 Amaresh

GOOD BYE – 2014

It’s time to say good-bye to the year 2014- A year that has been little fruitful with so many happenings that I will always mention it in the timeline of my life whenever I would be telling about it to my children or grand-children. I, as an individual, always take responsibility of my life but there’s only certain things in my hands to execute, rest happens the way it wants to. But I make it sure that whatever is in my control does not see an underwhelming performance. I am a human being and therefore I even fail incessantly but that’s what makes life risky and worth living.

At any rate, the start of a new year is upon us, and while I’m not huge on resolutions, I totally support looking back at the previous year and remembering everything that went on, whether through pictures, memories, or a combination of everything. I devoted one of my blogs to this last year, and I really want to do it again. When I wrote my 2013 review, I realized I had the greatest year — by any means. Let’s see how 2014 unfolded…..

RESOLUTIONS & COMMITMENTS:

There is something about New Year that fascinates all of us- RESOLUTIONS!!! Well, calling it Resolutions would be like insulting many of us so I better call it Resolution. Or we can read Resolutions by keeping the last "s" silent. Haha! But after 10 days of the first month passes, we realize that we are unable to retain the momentum we had in the last week of December the last year to start some new good habits in our routine. But somehow I changed myself from the year 2013 and started taking a calendar year very importantly because I wanted to achieve some targets in the specific 365 days. Seriously speaking, such challenging and disciplined attitude towards life came to me only because of my diary that I maintain….

Coming back to my topic- Resolutions. I am not going to talk much as like last year this year too I am not satisfied with the status of my Resolutions.. This time I would not like to mention as it is shameful but I will try to achieve them in 2015 hence I will keep it due for 2015.

MEMORIES & EXPERIENCES:

Coming to 2014, let me epitomize the year and write some wonderful things I got to do this year and some beautiful and memorable things I got to witness.

• I have started my year with a tour to Gangtok & Darjeeling with my office buddies, in feb..
• The very next month I visited ‘’PURI’’ with my parents.
• I Got Transferred to MAITHON from KALINGANAGAR Projects in June.
• In August, again I got the opportunity to visit ‘’RAJGIR, NALANDA & BODHGAYA’’.
• In the month of October, I booked a CAR (Hyundai-EON).. and turned one of my dream of having a Car into reality.
• And finally I ended-up losing my bachelorhood in the month of November.. Yes, I got married with my dream-girl ‘Nitu’..
• We have also been to ‘Mata Vaisno Devi’ & ‘Sri Sirdi Sai’ just after our marriage in December.

Currently, I have mentioned only these few ‘new things’ I experienced in the year 2014. There has been many small experiences too, which I don't want to share all of them as I am not  a ‘celebrity’ about whom you are interested in knowing about. :-) I had few targets in 2014. I achieved many of them. I had a target to finish my CMA examination without any failure but I missed with few marks. This year too I had a target of reading 20 books but ended at only 5, this time.

There are so many things that I learnt in 2014 about being a better human being that I feel I am a more mature person who is going into a new year….

Friends are something that everyone in their life has, in-fact everyone needs friends. If they do not, you do not know who you are. You don’t feel like you exist. There is no reason to smile. And in this regard, 2014 was very unlucky for me as was one of those unfortunate souls who end up losing his BEST FRIEND cum MENTOR this year, still trying to figure out the reason or what went wrong, Just my Bad-luck I guess..

I am not a person that particularly likes to talk about myself, I am quite happy to listen and help others in any way that I can. But her absence made me so lonely, that I never realized being so alone could be so demoralizing….

I have also learnt a beautiful art called HELPING. Even when I am not related to someone and I get a call or message, I make it sure that I do something for them. This year I made it sure that I help my friends & juniors with their Jobs. I never do anything for anyone with a small mission of getting help back when I would need it. I have learnt something called “Self-dependency” attitude and I live by it.

2014 has also shown me what failing after a long time means. At one point of life when you see only extra-ordinariness happening with you, you get into habit of tasting only success. And suddenly when rejection comes to you, you slip earth off your feet. I saw one such incident this year which made me believe that no person even with all hard work and utmost dedication can only succeed. Time comes when God tests his patience and for that, he fails the person. I have learnt that whenever I would fail again in life, I will take it as an opportunity to get closer to God because that is what the almighty wants from us. Being near to God is the best that you can do to keep your mind serene, peaceful and happy in the times of failure and calamities. 2014 has taught me lot of things which I am sure cannot be described in just a Blog Post.

Similarly, there has been many such experience in 2014 which I am in no state to share with all of you, currently. In short, I would like to tell that since 2009, all the years has been better than the last one. And hence, 2014 has also been the Good-One. And I would like to thank all of you for being with me throughout the year. Let's promise that we will stay together in each other's success throughout 2015 too. I hope this year has been good for all of you. Though our country is seeing some worst era of its safety, security and prosperity, let's not think about it in this last hour of the year. Let's be concerned about it, let's protest about it rather than stop celebrating our life that God has blessed us with.

Thanks.